wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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