i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
