She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
