she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
