Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
