he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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