so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
