I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
