there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
A+ Viking dick
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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