i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wear drunk well.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
