The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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