so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
