Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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