I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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