let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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