I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
