Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
nut hugger
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
