It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize