haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
