is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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