hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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