Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
