Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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