Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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