her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
