They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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