We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
