he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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