who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you had me at cake vodka
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
