What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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