problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i think my cat just said my name.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
