Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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