I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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