So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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