just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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