Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
