we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
