Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
