I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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