I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
