He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
