You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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