YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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