I'm jealous of your bromance
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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