My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
