i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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