New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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