Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
