That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
