when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
