She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
