her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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