Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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