Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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