I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
where are my eyebrows?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
