we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
