i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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