used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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