The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
