I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I need to align my fucking chakras
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
