I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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