I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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