hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
