dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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