I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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