omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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