More tranny stories later!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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