i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
do nipples grow back?
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