Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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