Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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