at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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