How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
