The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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