after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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