the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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