so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
